I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
