she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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