lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
