she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think I just sharted jello shots
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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