people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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