No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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