Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
