he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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