I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
