I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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