pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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