My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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