new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
