Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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