just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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