Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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