Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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