I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Randomize
