Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
