She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
