just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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