Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
