I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
