I love black thongs
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
