You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
