roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
