Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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