i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
