i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
