He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
