It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
