I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
