how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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