She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
handjob tips. give me some.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
