You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Still dying that you shit outside
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
