I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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