I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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