It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
