Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
