So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
