Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
