Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
