nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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