i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
