im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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