i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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