That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
