Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Couch. On fire.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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