can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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