then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
