i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
