I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
