i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
