Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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